IT'S OVER

Today was a rough day. It probably felt especially rough because I've had such a good last few weeks with my students. So, when they weren't perfect today, I wanted to throw my papers in the air and give up. I said some things I shouldn't have said, I felt some things I shouldn't have felt, and I definitely cried a lot of tears that I can't get back (dehydration). Most of them all over the upholstery of my car - gave it a good wash (silver lining? you decide).

It is what it is. I'm done with today. As my students always yell out, "It's over!" Give me another day.

Along these lines, I did have one of my favorite students act rudely to me today. He also told other students he was "over Ms John" (me, hopefully you knew that), and that he didn't like me anymore. It's probably pathetic how heart breaking that was, but I've worked really hard to maintain a relationship with this student. I love him and brag about him constantly. He has grown so much this year, and it hurt to think that one day could erase all the other good days we've had.

At the end of the day, I felt broken as I got ready to drive home. Unfortunately, the feeling was familiar, like coming home again to my hellish September that I thought I'd escaped forever. Then I got a text from that student apologizing for his actions today and promising to be better tomorrow, saying that there was no excuse and he wants to start fresh.

We aren't defined by our mistakes. We are defined by how we respond to them. Lucky, that's true or else all of us would have F's in the gradebook of life. This student made a mistake, but he admitted it and will correct it in the future. I came away actually feeling more proud of him than ever before. It surprised me that it was possible.

I made mistakes today too. And I can respond like the student. Admit them (lackluster planning and no sleep) and pledge to be better tomorrow (I have already finished planning for tomorrow, and it's only 11:13. Booyeah!) I can be better. I will be better. I need to be better.