The Best Kept Salazar Secrets Part I

...Until now that is!

1. Ben and I sometimes speak in semi-baby talk. It’s embarrassing, and we only do it in private. But we do it. I never would have predicted it before marriage because it actually repulses me. It started with us quoting our adorable nieces and nephews:

- “I am not brave. I want to cry” (Will after being called brave for getting in Maine’s cold water)

Will John

-“Mo’ milk, mo’ milk” (Sadie whispering in Daniel’s face while he was sleeping)

Sadie Nielson

-“Doggy” (Elise’s standard response to “what do dogs say?”)

Louie (aka Elise) Nielson

-“I hate myself!” (Jaden’s adorable way of expressing his anger at other people (not to be confused with frustration with himself)).

Jaden Yee

But it has escalated from there. Most of our baby talk still revolves around quotes but we sometimes add a little extra of our own material

Weston Maxfield and Lauren John, I look forward to quotes from you!

2. Ben is a better singer than me. He doesn’t know how to site read as well, but his voice is more beautiful. Like a little 6’4 angel. Sigh. Fun Fact: Ben has not authorized or approved this opinion.

3. I’ve learned to rely completely on my husband. I can’t use remotes, cook pancakes without burning them (he actually cooked my pancakes after I prepared the batter), or do laundry. If he dies I’ll be in trouble for those reasons alone. I’ll also miss his beautiful voice. Double sigh.

4. Ben and I have a dream of performing Baby It’s Cold Outside at some future function/talent show. We start practicing randomly in the car, no matter the season. It’s painfully ironic this summer in Arizona.

5. Ben has a worse sense of direction than me. You probably didn't think it was possible, but it is. If you want to get horribly lost, Ben and I can help you.

6. I am taller than Ben - he just wears really tall platform shoes all the time.

Fun fact: that’s not true

7. Ben taught me everything I know about making mashed potatoes

8. Ben sometimes decides to lie on me and tells me it’s a test. If he died lying on top of me, I’d need to be able to move him or escape from under him...I haven’t been able to pass a test yet.

9. Ben and I are both pretty naturally good awkward dancers. But I practice more than he does. If he just worked a little harder, he could reach his potential and we could have a show like the Partridge Family. I resent him for my lack of stardom.

10. We like to use our family’s last names in puns. Here are some that we now use all the time “I Gessell” (instead of I guess), “Take it to the Maxfield” (take it to the max), and “Yee!” (instead of Wee - mostly I use this one because of its girly nature). We have yet to come up with good standard ones for John and Nielson and we really need some help there if you have any suggestions. I have no idea where this started, but we’ve been doing it for at least 6 months.